"Entire Pat's Secondary to Be Replaced with One Legged Irish Step Dancers"

Foxboro Mass,

After the Pat’s incredibly disappointing Super Bowl loss to the Giants last night…many pointed to New England’s poor tackling technique as being a problem all season… especially in the secondary.  Coach Bill Belichick addressed the press this morning for 19 seconds and mumbled something about replacing the entire secondary with “One Legged Irish Step Dancers.”  We "think" he said that they would probably “wrap up better.”  When asked to comment Julian Edelman emphatically said “I’ll do whatever it takes.” Edelman went on to nervously explain that he will definitely sign up for step dancing classes this week, but that he really wanted to keep both his legs and would rather just play offense and special teams from now on.

Congratulations to the Giants and the Manning family on their new wing in Canton.